quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i drank out of a bidet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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