Acid is not a monday night drug
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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