I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
