So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
