im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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