How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
