none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
