Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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