I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
