So drunk its hurt
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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