if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
