can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
