so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
