:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
