If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
