Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
