I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am midnight drunk by noon
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
