YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
