Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
