he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
