Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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