Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
