If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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