I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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