Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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