i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Randomize
