Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize