I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
