out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
