He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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