Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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