Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
