I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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