Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
