Got a toothbrush?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
fuck your aforementioned shoe
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
