Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i think my cat just said my name.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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