I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
