i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
