dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
