y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
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