marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
youre lurking in front of me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize