We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
