That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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