Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
