Say something about gay babies.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
