shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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