I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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