You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
