weddingsv make me drug and hornr
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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