make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
