He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will be naked everywhere
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
50% drunk capacity currently
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
