So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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