Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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