Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
