wrigley field is MILF paradise
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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