i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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