he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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