You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
