i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
