Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
