Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
