Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize