Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
