i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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