saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize