But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Pappa wants mamma naked
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
