I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Jerry, you need to find god
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
