just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
