oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
